


Alone

by PoisonEnvy



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age 2
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonEnvy/pseuds/PoisonEnvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Talia Hawke has lost everyone.  When Anders does the unthinkable, she has to decide if she loses him too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

When Talia’s baby brother died, she almost gave up then and there. Seeing Carver picked up by that horrible ogre and being slammed into the ground – her and Carver didn’t get along very well, but she had loved him. He was her baby brother. She had planned to protect him, and she had envisioned humiliating him in front of his future girlfriend and wife. She had never told him how much she loved him, and she would never get the chance again. Only the thought of getting Bethany and her mother to Kirkwall safely had allowed her to keep her head, so she pushed down her feelings, tried to make a joke, and continue on. She had to be strong for Bethany and her mother, or they would never make it to Kirkwall. 

And when she had finally gotten enough money to go on the Deep Roads expedition, she thought about taking Bethany – that was the original plan after all. But she couldn’t bear the thought of possibly seeing Bethany meet her end the same way Carver had, and so she had left her behind to keep her safe. She hadn’t expected the Circle to find her while she was gone. She had returned, more or less triumphant, only to discover that Bethany was now in the Circle. The same Circle that made mages tranquil for even looking at Templars the same way. She had talked with Anders when they returned, and she had cried. Bethany probably blamed her for not taking her, despite the cheerful tone of her letters, and her mother probably blamed her too. Just like she blamed her for Carver. She couldn’t blame Leandra. After all, it was Talia’s fault. 

Just like it was her fault when her mother was murdered. If only she hadn’t been so quick to accuse DuPuis. If they had worked together, surely they could have found that psychopath in time, surely she could have saved her mother. She wondered, briefly, if maybe the Circles were right. If maybe Fenris was right. That maybe mages should be feared. But she thought of Bethany, stuck in the tower, pretending to be happy when Talia was sure that things were horrible. And she thought of Anders, who had rushed to her side as soon as he could to comfort her. Her beautiful Anders, the love of her life. And though she didn’t quite let go of her anger, she didn’t direct it at mages. Just at the world, who had taken her entire family for her. She didn’t have anyone to stay strong for anymore, but she still pretended to be okay. She still made jokes, though she knew that it pissed off Aveline. When she needed to cry, Anders was there to hold her and make the demons in her head quiet, and she loved him for it. No one else needed to see her weakness. 

And then Anders had killed that girl. 

He was obviously torn up about it, and Talia tried everything she could to comfort him. But she watched him slowly descend into his anger and grief. She tried to comfort him, and though sometimes it seemed to work, over the next three years she watched him get worse and worse. He would fly into rages at every perceived slight. Sometimes, Talia feared for her safety, but she knew that Anders would never hurt her. They loved each other, and usually she could talk him down from a rage before he started scaring Orana. 

When Anders blew up the Chantry, Talia didn’t know what to do. She had caused that. She had gathered the ingredients that allowed Anders to do something like that. The death of those innocents were on Talia’s hands. She was so angry at Anders. She couldn’t believe that she allowed something like that to happen, that she hadn’t known what Anders was up to. She loved him – they had been together for _six years_ , and she hadn’t even been able to tell that he was going to _blow up the fucking Chantry_. 

She almost ended things. Looking at his face made her angry. She thought, very briefly again, to her mother’s death. To how she had blamed the mages, and how Anders had played such a big part in her not completely souring towards the mages. She had been so ready to end things. 

But she had lost Carver. And she had lost Bethany. And her mother… she had lost her mother too. Anders had always been there for her. She couldn’t lose Anders too. If she lost Anders, she would have no one. 

So she swallowed her anger, and she kissed Anders, and she ran away with him so she wouldn’t be alone.


End file.
